Letter #3
Dear Bill,
You think you have your whole life figured out, and then tragedy strikes.
You made the grades to earn the degrees to get the dream jobs. You marry your high school sweetheart and have three beautiful kids together. You live in your dream home in your dream location, and you make some really amazing friends and have the best family anyone could ask for. You love your life and live it pretty damn full and really think you've finally made it. You've hit that sweet spot where you don't feel like you are constantly climbing to get to somewhere better. You are there. You just work to maintain it all, but are able to relax about things a little more and have more fun. Life is pretty damn great. You are living the dream.
And then a 24-year old, who thinks that her agenda of getting drunk and high is more important than all that, turns that dream into a nightmare.
Suddenly the things that mattered to you before don't matter as much now, at least not in the same way that they mattered before. And things that seemed trivial before are now all you can seem to think about.
Adjusting to life without you is really hard. It's lonely here. I know that sounds selfish, but that's how it feels. There is a hole in our family, in my life, now. No matter what the future holds for us, that will always be true. I am so sorry that this happened to you. You had so much more to give the world. I'm sorry you didn't get o do all that you wanted to do. You did accomplish quite a bit while you were here though, and you did it all well. I have to believe that when you died, you had no regrets. You were so wonderful, in every way. So many others have told me the same. I want you to know that. I want you to know how loved you were. You are. How many people looked up to you and respected the kind of man that you were. I hope you could feel that, or you can feel it now and that your soul is alive with all of the joy you brought to all of us.
Some people say that everything happens for a reason, even though we won't really know what that reason is until we get to where we are going at the end of all of this. I don't know that I believe that. I'm not really sure what to believe anymore. I just cannot fathom that someone of your magnitude could ever have that kind of fate. The world really was a better place with you in it, so why would you ever be taken out of it purposely in such a tragic way?? I just don't understand. And maybe it's not meant for me to understand. I haven't asked a lot of "why me?," "why us?," "why this way?" because I know that I will never know the answer and I will only drive myself crazy trying to figure it all out. I mostly just try to focus on the gift that you were to us, and all of the wonderful things you brought to our lives. Sometimes I get scared that I will never know that kind of happiness again, but I am so grateful to have had it with you, even though it was not nearly as long as I had hoped for.
Forever and always, Bri
You think you have your whole life figured out, and then tragedy strikes.
You made the grades to earn the degrees to get the dream jobs. You marry your high school sweetheart and have three beautiful kids together. You live in your dream home in your dream location, and you make some really amazing friends and have the best family anyone could ask for. You love your life and live it pretty damn full and really think you've finally made it. You've hit that sweet spot where you don't feel like you are constantly climbing to get to somewhere better. You are there. You just work to maintain it all, but are able to relax about things a little more and have more fun. Life is pretty damn great. You are living the dream.
And then a 24-year old, who thinks that her agenda of getting drunk and high is more important than all that, turns that dream into a nightmare.
Suddenly the things that mattered to you before don't matter as much now, at least not in the same way that they mattered before. And things that seemed trivial before are now all you can seem to think about.
Adjusting to life without you is really hard. It's lonely here. I know that sounds selfish, but that's how it feels. There is a hole in our family, in my life, now. No matter what the future holds for us, that will always be true. I am so sorry that this happened to you. You had so much more to give the world. I'm sorry you didn't get o do all that you wanted to do. You did accomplish quite a bit while you were here though, and you did it all well. I have to believe that when you died, you had no regrets. You were so wonderful, in every way. So many others have told me the same. I want you to know that. I want you to know how loved you were. You are. How many people looked up to you and respected the kind of man that you were. I hope you could feel that, or you can feel it now and that your soul is alive with all of the joy you brought to all of us.
Some people say that everything happens for a reason, even though we won't really know what that reason is until we get to where we are going at the end of all of this. I don't know that I believe that. I'm not really sure what to believe anymore. I just cannot fathom that someone of your magnitude could ever have that kind of fate. The world really was a better place with you in it, so why would you ever be taken out of it purposely in such a tragic way?? I just don't understand. And maybe it's not meant for me to understand. I haven't asked a lot of "why me?," "why us?," "why this way?" because I know that I will never know the answer and I will only drive myself crazy trying to figure it all out. I mostly just try to focus on the gift that you were to us, and all of the wonderful things you brought to our lives. Sometimes I get scared that I will never know that kind of happiness again, but I am so grateful to have had it with you, even though it was not nearly as long as I had hoped for.
Forever and always, Bri
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