Letter #2
Dear Bill,
Blake had his first cyclocross race last weekend. He was so brave. You would have been so proud. It was so hard not having you there. Not having you to take him on his warm-up ride or coach him through his race strategy. Not being able to watch you race. I miss that. You had so much passion for the sport. I know you were there in spirit, but that isn't enough. That's not how it should be.
Your friends all came out to support Blake, and in the end, it was really me who benefited from having them there. It was so heartwarming to have them there, running all over the course cheering him on, just like you would have done. I could hear your voice in my head, yelling for him.
The course was long and challenging, especially for the kids. Watching him climb the 5280 steps was really something. That is a challenging feat for an adult, but for a kid who only weighs 57 pounds to have to run up them carrying a bike that weighs at least 10 pounds is pretty amazing to watch. He was so tired but he never gave up. His face had the same look of determination that yours always did. Some of your ashes are scattered at the top of that staircase. I just kept thinking, "He should be standing up there cheering for his kid. Instead his ashes are up there, scattered among the dirt and gravel." It's not right.
We watched your race. What would have been your race. I could envision your strength and speed and agility as you raced and tackled the obstacles. Your fluid motion as you would quickly dismount and mount the bicycle. Your tenacity to claim a spot up front. And in the end, the big smile as you finished, no matter what the outcome was. Although much of the time it was you close to, or on the podium.
I am so sorry. For you. For me. For all of us. You deserve, more than anyone, to be out there doing what you love. Life is so very precious, and most people don't appreciate that the way you did. You always gave everything your best shot and you never took life for granted. The rest of us are all learning that the hard way, as we struggle to go on without you.
I miss you so much and I'm so grateful for all that you gave me and all that you taught me and I am so sorry that someone took your beautiful life away.
Love forever and always, Bri
Blake had his first cyclocross race last weekend. He was so brave. You would have been so proud. It was so hard not having you there. Not having you to take him on his warm-up ride or coach him through his race strategy. Not being able to watch you race. I miss that. You had so much passion for the sport. I know you were there in spirit, but that isn't enough. That's not how it should be.
Your friends all came out to support Blake, and in the end, it was really me who benefited from having them there. It was so heartwarming to have them there, running all over the course cheering him on, just like you would have done. I could hear your voice in my head, yelling for him.
The course was long and challenging, especially for the kids. Watching him climb the 5280 steps was really something. That is a challenging feat for an adult, but for a kid who only weighs 57 pounds to have to run up them carrying a bike that weighs at least 10 pounds is pretty amazing to watch. He was so tired but he never gave up. His face had the same look of determination that yours always did. Some of your ashes are scattered at the top of that staircase. I just kept thinking, "He should be standing up there cheering for his kid. Instead his ashes are up there, scattered among the dirt and gravel." It's not right.
We watched your race. What would have been your race. I could envision your strength and speed and agility as you raced and tackled the obstacles. Your fluid motion as you would quickly dismount and mount the bicycle. Your tenacity to claim a spot up front. And in the end, the big smile as you finished, no matter what the outcome was. Although much of the time it was you close to, or on the podium.
I miss you so much and I'm so grateful for all that you gave me and all that you taught me and I am so sorry that someone took your beautiful life away.
Love forever and always, Bri
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