Letter #7
Dear Bill,
Remember those lilacs I planted along the side of our property a few years ago that you thought would get, "too big and out of control"?? Well, they are blooming now and they look really pretty. I hope you can see them.
Blake has started mountain biking. I have bought him 2 mountain bikes in the last year, because he grew so fast. His feet are just about the size of mine and he wears some of your old cycling socks. He turns eleven in 3 days, will be going into middle school in the fall and he has a phone now. We are in full pre-pubescent swing over here.
Landon is playing baseball, much to my dismay. He has fun out there and enjoys being a member of a team, but sitting through two hours of kid pitch games is a bit like watching paint dry. Every now and then someone actually hits the ball and a good play is made, so there is a sprinkling of actual baseball thrown in. He has been pitching and it is just the most precious thing to watch. He has surprised me with his newfound sense of confidence, and it fills me with such pride to see it.
Owen is on a soccer team with several of his preschool buddies and he loves it. He runs constantly, which is his usual state so I would say this is an ideal sport for him. It is actually a lot of fun to watch them play. I hope you can see it.
We are doing well here without you, but we miss you terribly. It is overwhelming at times. I still wake up scared and alone some nights. I still search for you without realizing it. Your aunt recently passed away, and when you sister let me know she was put on hospice I found myself walking around the house looking for you so that I could tell you the news. Knowing that I will never hear you laugh or see your smile again literally brings me to my knees at times. The heartache will never leave, but neither will the gifts of your love and your life.
I have impressed myself with keeping up with all the lawn and home maintenance, which is no easy feat for an only parent. There are things that I have gotten pretty good at, and some areas that still need improvement. I am slowly learning more about bicycle maintenance, although my technique with the weed whacker is sub par and I still suck at math. While I feel like I am drowning most of the time with all of my responsibilities, I am somehow maintaining the facade that I have my shit together. I am totally crushing that.
My relationship with Dave has been such a gift and we are continuing to grow and move forward together. We have decided to live together, so he and the kids will be moving in in the coming months. He is a really wonderful man and father to his own children, and will be such a blessing to our boys to have as a father figure. The kids are excited, and while we know there will be bumps along the way we intend to show perseverance and resilience, even in the hardest of times. Life, as we know all to well, is short. And it becomes what you make it. We have all weathered great storms, and what we now share has surrounded us with beauty and light. We are determined to create a life full of hope and love and appreciation for all we have been given.
"So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light...."
Remember those lilacs I planted along the side of our property a few years ago that you thought would get, "too big and out of control"?? Well, they are blooming now and they look really pretty. I hope you can see them.
Blake has started mountain biking. I have bought him 2 mountain bikes in the last year, because he grew so fast. His feet are just about the size of mine and he wears some of your old cycling socks. He turns eleven in 3 days, will be going into middle school in the fall and he has a phone now. We are in full pre-pubescent swing over here.
Landon is playing baseball, much to my dismay. He has fun out there and enjoys being a member of a team, but sitting through two hours of kid pitch games is a bit like watching paint dry. Every now and then someone actually hits the ball and a good play is made, so there is a sprinkling of actual baseball thrown in. He has been pitching and it is just the most precious thing to watch. He has surprised me with his newfound sense of confidence, and it fills me with such pride to see it.
Owen is on a soccer team with several of his preschool buddies and he loves it. He runs constantly, which is his usual state so I would say this is an ideal sport for him. It is actually a lot of fun to watch them play. I hope you can see it.
We are doing well here without you, but we miss you terribly. It is overwhelming at times. I still wake up scared and alone some nights. I still search for you without realizing it. Your aunt recently passed away, and when you sister let me know she was put on hospice I found myself walking around the house looking for you so that I could tell you the news. Knowing that I will never hear you laugh or see your smile again literally brings me to my knees at times. The heartache will never leave, but neither will the gifts of your love and your life.
I have impressed myself with keeping up with all the lawn and home maintenance, which is no easy feat for an only parent. There are things that I have gotten pretty good at, and some areas that still need improvement. I am slowly learning more about bicycle maintenance, although my technique with the weed whacker is sub par and I still suck at math. While I feel like I am drowning most of the time with all of my responsibilities, I am somehow maintaining the facade that I have my shit together. I am totally crushing that.
My relationship with Dave has been such a gift and we are continuing to grow and move forward together. We have decided to live together, so he and the kids will be moving in in the coming months. He is a really wonderful man and father to his own children, and will be such a blessing to our boys to have as a father figure. The kids are excited, and while we know there will be bumps along the way we intend to show perseverance and resilience, even in the hardest of times. Life, as we know all to well, is short. And it becomes what you make it. We have all weathered great storms, and what we now share has surrounded us with beauty and light. We are determined to create a life full of hope and love and appreciation for all we have been given.
"So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light...."
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