Fall
We've made it most of the way through our first fall without him. The kids are doing well in school, all happily adjusted and performing well on their classwork. Cyclocross season has come to a close, Owen turned four, and we took our first family photos as a family of four, not five. Halloween was a hit, as always. My kids generally start getting anxious with anticipation for Halloween around April, and this year was no different even given our current circumstances. I even got involved in the Halloween festivities. I went to a costume party without a date. We hosted Bill's entire family for the week of Thanksgiving and we decorated the house for the holidays. I managed to make it through all of this and not completely lose my mind.
Thank you Prozac.
Shopping for holiday cards was a challenge. There didn't seem to be one that fit my mood. They all seemed to scream, "Joy!," "We're So Happy!," or "2016 Was So Awesome!" There weren't any that said "We're Fine Damn It!!," or "Actually, All ISN'T Merry and Bright," or "2016 sucked." "Happy Holidays. I hope you are enjoying your family members who aren't dead" seemed fitting as well.
I settled for "Love and Peace" instead.
As I read through the holiday letters some people send out, I contemplated what I would say in mine if I cared enough to send one. I'm thinking it would go something like this...
Dear Friends and Family,
I hope this letter finds you all well. We are not so much. Bill was senselessly and tragically killed this past summer and we are all traumatized. The kids and I are all in therapy, and I am on medication. Since the accused decided that jail really isn't for her and she'd rather be doing other things, she entered a plea of not guilty so we await trial until April. I have also filed a civil suit in hopes of collection some compensation so that my children can be put through college. We are hoping that 2017 is a year full of many blessings for us.
We wish you all love and light this holiday season.
Peace,
The Davis family
Here's to hoping for a better 2017.
I love this....HATE that you have to write about this....but LOVE that you are able. You are doing awesome! I love you, love your and admire your determination, mom♡
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