On my radar

I left the cloth diapers hanging on the clothesline outside overnight AGAIN last night. Ugh. Luckily we live in Colorado and there usually isn't much moisture in the early morning this time of year. Let me preface all this by saying that I am pregnant and nearing the end of my first trimester. You all may or may not be aware of a little phenomenon called "pregnancy brain." Did you know a woman's brain actually shrinks during pregnancy? It's true. Thanks, mother nature. Like I needed that. Although I am a nurse, I cannot remember the exact physiology around this because, well I HAVE PREGNANCY BRAIN. So, along with the nausea, exhaustion, bloating, and general feeling of disgust most women feel during the beginnings of pregnancy, we also get to feel like we are in the early stages of alzheimer's. Oh the joys.

When I woke up for the hundredth time to pee, around 4am, I happened to look out the window and notice the diapers still hanging there on the line. Which also reminded me that I had thrown a load of clothes in the washing machine before I fell asleep on the couch at 8pm. Of course I couldn't fall back asleep after this because I just lay there thinking of all the other things I must have forgotten to do yesterday and need to remember to do today. I also laid there, listening to my husband snore and think, "Surely he saw the diapers hanging up when he came home from work. Why couldn't he have thought to bring them in? He was the one who put them in the wash anyway. You would think this would remind him to check to see if they were brought inside. And he saw me put that load of clothes in, and he listened to the washer as it droned on while he was watching TV last night after I had put myself to bed. Did he not think they needed to be flipped to the dryer at some point?" And on and on and on this went until it was time to get up and start the day. 

The thing is, it's not that he isn't a wonderful, hands on father and helpful husband, it's just that those things are not on his radar. Ever. He is more than willing to help out, but he needs to be told what to do. He needs lists. This used to bug the hell out of me. "Really, you can't see this filth and disgust that's on the floor so you need me to leave you a note telling you to vacuum?" It took me a while to realize that him not noticing things like this were not going to change and to just be thankful that he will do what I ask when I need his help around the house. And I am very thankful. I am well aware that some husbands do not/will not help out like that. He has this amazing ability to walk past a heaping mound of laundry and not even notice it. I, on the other hand, don't even give it a thought. My body is on autopilot most of the time with the household chores. I am like a robot, as I presume most women are. Our radar screens are filled with millions of blips having to do with general household maintenance, child care/rearing, social calendars, etc. Men have exactly 2 things on their radar at all times: food and sex. This is not at all to say they don't care about other things. There are plenty of other things in their lives that they care deeply about, but what occupies their minds at all times are these two things.

I suppose it's a good thing that we are wired so differently, otherwise one of 2 things would probably happen: A- the house would be a complete pigsty and we would have litters of children running amok, or B- we would be living in a nearly sterile environment with fake smiles plastered to our faces talking to each other in sing-songy voices, but on one would really be all that happy. Yes it's true, we do need chaos in our lives, which perhaps is why Bill and I have made the decision to have another child. The more the merrier, right? Here's hoping!