Chasing My Blessings

It has been a little over three years since he was taken from us. With no explanation other than what we can deduce was an act resulting from a very selfish and entitled lifestyle. I never imagined I would make it this far. I didn't think I would make it even three days. But here we are. After Bill died, I promised myself and my children that I would not live a life of misery. And so far, I have kept that promise. I will not relive the horrific details of his death, or what those final moments must have been like for him. I will not carry around the agony and indescribable sadness I felt those first few months. Nor will I let the immeasurable grief take over my every existence. I go there sometimes, but I will not live there. The boys and I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth these past three years. We have allowed our hearts to expand in ways we could have never imagined. Allowing so much more love to flow, but also putting ourselves at risk for more heartache, as grie...

I went to the bank a few days ago to deposit a refund check from the US Treasury. When I filed my 2016 taxes, the government had told me that I underpaid, and now they have decided that I overpaid. Because Bill died half way through 2016, I was required to file as a married couple that year, so any correspondence from the government regarding that year's taxes has always been sent or made out to "Brianne and William B deceased Davis." That mail is always super fun to open. It would be great if they would stop sending him things and making checks out to him, when they are aware that he is dead. At any rate, I took the check in to the bank and the teller took one look at it after she saw my signature and said, "William needs to sign this also." Really? Does he? How do you want to handle this lady? Because I have about had enough of the incessant paperwork, the mind numbing phone calls with businesses who act like it's completely unusual when one of their c...

Dear Bill- Blake got braces. And I cried. Right there in the orthodontist's waiting room. Another milestone without you. His feet are now the same size as mine and he has now successfully navigated his way through his first year of middle school, making the honor roll both semesters and was also honored with a student character award. He turned 12 last month and has voiced that he wants to get contacts at his next eye exam in the fall. I can hardly believe how grown up he is getting. He ran track this spring and is doing a junior golf program this summer and will also babysitting his brothers some. He's a great kid and you would be so proud of him. Landon is playing lacrosse instead of baseball this spring and he is really enjoying it. It goes without saying that it is much more enjoyable to watch, but I think more than anything I love seeing him get out of his comfort zone and trying new things. The aggression that lacrosse requires does not come easily to him, but if some...