Chasing My Blessings

Owen drew a picture last week, and when he finished he walked out into the living room and looked up at Bill's urn and said, "I drew this picture for daddy, but it won't fit inside his box." This. SUCKS. And this is why medication is necessary at this point. I'm pretty sure my heart fell straight out of my body. What's left of it anyway. Landon has been breaking down more often. I guess that's a good thing, but it literally comes out of no where. Like the other night, after he was done practicing piano he came out of the office in hysterics. I was upstairs folding laundry, because, where else would I be?? I thought he was hurt he was carrying on so much. I ran downstairs, expecting to see blood all over the place and when my initial assessment warranted no ER visit I tried to make out what he was saying. I finally got him to calm down enough to where I could understand him and he just kept yelling, "I want daddy! I want my daddy!" He sobb...

We've made it most of the way through our first fall without him. The kids are doing well in school, all happily adjusted and performing well on their classwork. Cyclocross season has come to a close, Owen turned four, and we took our first family photos as a family of four, not five. Halloween was a hit, as always. My kids generally start getting anxious with anticipation for Halloween around April, and this year was no different even given our current circumstances. I even got involved in the Halloween festivities. I went to a costume party without a date. We hosted Bill's entire family for the week of Thanksgiving and we decorated the house for the holidays. I managed to make it through all of this and not completely lose my mind. Thank you Prozac. Shopping for holiday cards was a challenge. There didn't seem to be one that fit my mood. They all seemed to scream, "Joy!," "We're So Happy!," or "2016 Was So Awesome!" There weren...